Theodore Wheatley

Theodore "Teddy" Wheatley (March 20, 1985 - June 8, 2021) was a Dogger philosopher, political theorist, and politician who served as a member of the National Assembly. Wheatley became nationally known after creating the political philosophy known as Thwompism. His nickname "Thwomp" is commonly used as an adjective, a noun, and a verb. Wheatley was assassinated on June 8, 2021, while giving a speech at the Thwomp Pride Parade in Abester, Brun-South.

Early Life
Theodore Wheatley was born on March 20, 1985, in Abester, Brun-South. He was raised in Abester by his father, Bartholomew "Bart" Whomp, and his mother, Gloria Wheatley. His birth name was "Theodore Whomp-Wheatley," which would earn him the nickname "Thwomp" from his classmates at Abelester Central High. His father, Bart, was a car mechanic, and he would inspire Theodore's love for cars. His mother, Gloria, would go on to be the first female public defender in Brun-South, serving at the Abester Municipal Court. Outside of their time spent at work, Bart and Gloria would take turns caring for Theodore and his younger brother, Thomas. Theodore would later change his legal name to "Theodore Wheatley" upon graduating from high school.



Theodore and Thomas were raised by their mother in the Jewish faith, attending Hebrew school in the afternoons. Wheatley would celebrate his bar mitzvah in 1998.

Wheatley studied at Abester University from 2003 to 2011, graduating with a DDS (Doctor of Dental Surgery) degree, citing that he chose his major because he "enjoyed nothing more than seeing people smile." Wheatley, alongside his brother Thomas, would co-found Wheatley Dentistry in Abelester. Wheatley was known for frequenting comedy clubs in his free time where he would perform politically satirical stand-up routines, with any of the proceeds going to charity.

Anarcho-Garfieldist Party (AGP)
Theodore Wheatley would enter Dogger politics in April of 2021 as a member of the Anarcho-Garfieldist Party where he would quickly rise through the ranks, bringing new life to the satirical political party. Running on a populist Thwompist platform, Wheatley would be elected to the National Assembly of Doggerland on April 27, 2021. Massive voter fraud during the April 2021 Legislative Elections on behalf of Independent Democratic Party, Beady, would lead to a penalty for the AGP, losing the Anarcho-Garfieldists 45% of the vote they had earned. Wheatley, a strong advocate for democracy, had put his best efforts into fighting back against Beady's fraudulent tactics, yet was still inadvertently punished for Beady's actions. Wheatley, along with his growing faction of Thwompists, would protest the government's decisions regarding this punishment, in part leading to the May 2021 Legislative Elections occurring early.

Wheatley would focus whole-heartedly on the May 2021 Legislative Elections, leading a populist advertising campaign for the AGP which would include Thwompist messaging. While these advertisements would lead to increased interest in Thwompism, the election was a loss for the AGP as a whole, with the party losing a seat in the National Assembly.

After the unsuccessful election for the AGP, the party's leader and founder, Sam Garfield, would begin to grow increasingly distant and inactive, something Wheatley would take notice of. Following the support and suggestions of the leaders of multiple prominent political parties, Wheatley would challenge Sam for leadership on May 2, 2021, promising a broad satirical coalition under his leadership, however, the AGP's leader would not acknowledge the challenge for another week. On May 15, 2021, Sam would announce that he was stepping down as the leader of the AGP and recommending the disbandment of the party. With the remaining AGP members being loyal to Wheatley, he and his coalition would respect Sam's wishes and disband the AGP, looking forward to forming their own party.

Green Democratic Party (GDP)
After abandoning the Anarcho-Garfieldist Party, Theodore Wheatley would become a founding member of the Green Democratic Party on May 15, 2021, and would serve as the party's Deputy Leader. Inspired by the environmentalist and progressive values of his hero, Theodore Roosevelt, he envisioned the party as a combination of the Green Party of Canada and New Democratic Party, basing the GDP's name and logo on each. With Wheatley's Thwompist coalition following him out of the AGP, they would become a core group of the GDP, such that the GDP would become the first political party in Doggerland to include a section on Thwompism in its manifesto. The NDP and Greens being progressive parties and Thwompism being an openly leftist political philosophy suggested that the GDP would be a leftist party to Wheatley, however, Wheatley's co-founders had other plans.

One of the GDP's co-founders, Alfred Cedil, would privately contact Wheatley on May 16, 2021, revealing that they had secretly been taking orders from [REDACTED], and that the GDP was actually organized to create a centrist government, stopping Forward! from taking power again. With the revelation that the GDP was basically a puppet party for [REDACTED], Wheatley felt used and betrayed. Wheatley and his Thwompist coalition would exit the party later that day. With a majority of its members now alienated, the Green Democratic Party would dissolve on May 17, 2021.

Doggerland Left (DL)


As a self-described Libertarian Socialist, Theodore Wheatley would find his new home within the Doggerland Left, being personally invited by Rune Tien-Liong on May 16, 2021. Wheatley would quickly form a friendship with the DL's Leader, which would blossom into a strong working relationship. Wheatley would become one of the more active members of the DL, attempting to grow the party while taking part in assembly debates and writing various policies. He did not want to leave his loyal followers behind with the AGP and GDP, however, so with the help of Rune, Wheatley would establish the Thwompist Caucus shortly after joining.

The Thwompist Caucus promotes the principles of Thwompism, including political satire and bipartisanship, along with the broader revolutionary values of the political philosophy. While originally only open to members of Forward!, the Thwompist Caucus would open its doors to members of all political parties soon after forming. Wheatley officially awarded the title of Deputy Thwomp to Apples Clarke on May 29, 2021, citing Clarke's dedication to the Thwompist Movement. On May 30, 2021, Wheatley would announce various policy proposals within the Thwompist Caucus, including the Thwomp Unity Act (TUA), the Party Transparency Act (PTA), the Green Exchange Program (GEP), and the Cooperation Program Act (CPA).

In preparation for the June 2021 Legislative Elections, Wheatley was contacted by representatives of various political parties, inviting him to appear on their tickets for the election instead of on the ticket of the Doggerland Left. On June 1, 2021, Wheatley would announce that he would be remaining in the Doggerland Left, citing the bonds he had forged with his fellow party members over the past month.

Thwomp Unity Act (TUA)
The Thwomp Unity Act would officially recognize the Ministry of Thwomp as a position in government. The Ministry of Thwomp would be responsible for making Doggerland a more fun and silly place to live and work in, and would be tasked with organizing community events around the country.

The first draft of the Thwomp Unity Act was submitted to the National Assembly on May 1, 2021, but was ignored by the centrist government that formed shortly after it was submitted.

As a retaliation to the government's avoidance of the Thwomp Unity Act, the opposition appointed Wheatley to the newly created Shadow Ministry of Thwomp, Silly Affairs, and Communications on May 18, 2021.

Following the June 2021 Legislative Elections, Wheatley was appointed to the newly created cabinet position of Ministry of Thwomp & Happiness on June 8, 2021, though this position came with such pushback from the Opposition, that it led to a rise right-wing violence and extremism.

Cooperative Promotion Act (CPA)
The Cooperative Promotion Act aimed to incentivize the voluntary transition to public firms through a refundable tax credit. The bill was written and sponsored by Wheatley, and cosponsored by Joris Jansen. It was first introduced by Wheatley on June 8, 2021, alongside the Green Exchange Program, the same day he would be assassinated. The CPA would not be voted on until August 12, 2021, passing by 34-28.

Green Exchange Program (GEP)
The Green Exchange Program aimed to incentivize the use of environmentally friendly vehicles through a voluntary vehicle exchange program. The bill was written and sponsored by Wheatley, and cosponsored by Colonel Moss. It was first introduced by Wheatley on June 8, 2021, alongside the Cooperative Promotion Act, the same day he would be assassinated. The GEP would not be voted on until August 13, 2021, passing unanimously at 58-0-0.

Thwomp Mobile


The Thwomp Mobile is a newly restored, electric-powered 1967 Volkswagen Beetle that was presented to Theodore Wheatley as a gift from Zelectric Motors on May 31, 2021, during a trip to California to promote his new Green Exchange Program. The company was interested in expanding their services to Doggerland, as Wheatley's program would allow Doggers to voluntarily exchange their current vehicles for new, energy-efficient vehicles that they could help supply.

When revealing their gift to Wheatley, Zelectric Motors affectionately referred to the shade of the Thwomp Mobile as "Thwompin' Blue." Since then, he has been seen driving the "Blue Beetle" to and from the National Assembly.

On June 8, 2021, at 11:47 PM, Wheatley was found dead in the Thwomp Mobile on the side of a rural road in Brun-South, having bled out due to the bullet wound he incurred earlier that day. The Thwomp Mobile was retrieved from the site and now acts as a memorial to Wheatley in Abester, Brun-South.

Terminology

 * Thwomp - A nickname for Theodore Wheatley; a label given to fans of Theodore Wheatley.
 * Thwompism - Theodore Wheatley's political philosophy, which equality through a fusion of bipartisanship and political satire.
 * Thwompist - A label given to followers of Thwompism.
 * Thwomprade - A label given to allies of Theodore Wheatley.