Malarkinator

Malarkinator (born January 9th, 1984) is an Associate Justice of the Supreme Court of Doggerland and the former Chief Whip for the Liberal Party. He is the first Supreme Court Justice from the Vikingland Islands. Malarkinator was nominated by Doggerland Prime Minister Mel on February 17th, 2021 and has served on the Court since his appointment. Previously, he was the Chief Whip for the Liberal Party as well as a Liberal Member of the National Assembly of Doggerland, the third to be elected on the party list for the January 2021 legislative elections.

Early life and ancestry
Malarkinator was born on January 9th, 1984 in the town of Solenstårn in the Vikingland Islands to parents Josef and Maria Nansen. Malarkinator is of Danish and Norwegian descent on both sides of his family, his ancestors having emigrated to Norway during the period when it was under Danish rule. He is distantly related to the famous polar explorer and Nobel Peace Prize laureate Fridtjof Nansen. Following the Nazi occupation of Norway during the Second World War, his grandparents fled the country, as did many other Norwegians, for the Kingdom of Doggerland, settling on Nybergen Island in what was at the time a sparsely populated, long neglected outpost of the island nation.

Education
Malarkinator was raised in Solenstårn and attended the Royal Norwegian University in the provincial capital of Dråbenfjord, graduating in 2006 with a Bachelor of Arts magna cum laude in philosophy. Following his time in university, Malarkinator earned his Juris Doctor (JD) degree at Port Nandels Law School, passing the Dogger bar exam in 2011.

Early legal career
After becoming a licensed member of the bar, Malarkinator returned to the Vikingland Islands to work as a clerk under Judge Birger Eriksen of the Vikingland Islands Provincial Court for four years. His exemplary work there, most notably his authorship of the majority opinion in VAA v. Doggerland, which granted additional autonomy to the Vikingland islands, led him to be recommended to Associate Justice Willem De Roode, and he left the Islands to clerk at the Supreme Court of Doggerland for two years under Justice De Roode. Following his tenure as clerk, Malarkinator started his own private legal practice and gained notoriety for serving as defending counsel for the Rotsibaai Five, the group of NPD terrorists that carried out the Rotsibaai bombings in 1993.

Vikingland Islands Provincial Court Judge (2017-2020)
Malarkinator was appointed to the Vikingland Islands Provincial Court in 2017 by King Moose. He served for four years on the court before stepping down to run as a Liberal Member of the National Assembly.

Political career
Following the announcement of new political parties after the collapse of the old two-party system, Malarkinator was one of the first individuals recruited by the Liberal Party to run as a member of the National Assembly. A committed republican, Malarkinator negotiated the inclusion of a referendum on the status of the monarchy in the party manifesto, as well as a provision for a shift to a points-based immigration system for Doggerland.

Election to the National Assembly
Following the January 2021 legislative elections, which occurred on January 29th, 2021, the Liberal Party captured 27 seats in the National Assembly, becoming the second largest party after the United Left People's Party. Malarkinator, along with the rest of the party, entered into the Official Opposition alongside the Civic Union and the Libertarian Party, facing the Forward! governing coalition comprised of the United Left People's Party, Labor Worker's Party, and the Justice Party.

Chief Whip of the Liberal Party
The day after the election, Malarkinator was unanimously elected the Chief Whip of the Liberal Party. Following the announcement of the government's first piece of legislation, the Socialist Reform Bill, Malarkinator was, along with the rest of his party and the opposition, dismayed at the radical policies put forth in the bill. However, he remained committed to his ideals of pragmatism and bipartisanship, and negotiated several changes to the bill that prevented compulsory unionization from being enacted and limited the influence of parents on education. To promote fiscal responsibility, Malarkinator was able to negotiate a provision calling on the government to clearly outline how the new proposed measures would be paid for.

Malarkinator himself was also the most prolific author of legislation in the new session of parliament, first collaborating with Libertarian Deputy Leader Baveland on a National Education Act, as well as working on a Parliamentary Scheduling Act to ensure the smooth function of the National Assembly. A longtime advocate for nuclear power, he also proposed the Nuclear Power Act, and co-authored the Defense of the Realm Act in response to the Peace Act.

Political positions
Malarkinator is generally considered to be on the right wing of the Liberal Party, having readily worked with the Libertarians and Civic Union members to discuss strategies and author legislation, although after the election of Mel as Labor Worker's Party leader he has expressed a more supportive stance of their party. He considers himself an opponent of both communism and fascism, and is strongly committed to the anti-radicalization of politics, supporting his party's stance to never work with the Communists or the Independent Democracy Party. A self-described social liberal, he has spoken out in support of LGBT rights and marijuana legalization, as well supporting the legalization of prostitution and gambling and the complete overhaul of the criminal justice system with a focus on rehabilitation.

However, Malarkinator has been more wary of socialist economic policies, professing a belief in "regulated capitalism, where the government's job is solely to make sure companies are playing fairly" and was supportive of a negative income tax for the poor before his party's adoption of UBI. Furthermore, he has expressed his opposition to single-payer universal healthcare, calling U.S. Democratic presidential hopeful Bernie Sanders's signature Medicare for All proposal a "magical socialist grandpa" who will promise to "make all your dreams come true while refusing to tell you how he'll do it" and instead prefers a more realistic system where government provided health care competes with private companies, as well as being a strong advocate of multi-payer healthcare systems as currently implemented in Germany and other European nations. Regarding the issue of the minimum wage, he was noted to support local ordinances on the subject as opposed to a blanket nationwide increase.

On foreign affairs and immigration Malarkinator differs from his party the most, being a proponent of stricter border security and a points based immigration system to admit the most qualified and talented immigrants. While he supports the common market aspect of the EU, Malarkinator is wary of further political integration at the expense of Doggerland's sovereignty, and is generally non-interventionist regarding world affairs, preferring to solve crises through peaceful means whenever possible. He has also expressed a willingness to support protectionist measures in some instances, as he commented following a tour of the US states of Ohio and Michigan that "the workers of America have soured on the neoliberal promises of their leaders. As jobs have fled, the plants have all shut down. It's no wonder that these people voted for Trump. To prevent this from happening in Doggerland, we must not always rely on free trade, but rather adapt to situations whenever possible, because what's most important are the needs of the people, rich or poor, Dutch or Doggish."

Views on neoconservatives
Controversially, Malarkinator has called for the death of neoconservatives such as Dick Cheney and George W. Bush, having once made a post on social media about burning portraits of the American leaders and vowing "to give them a taste of my shoe". Furthermore, during his years in law school he frequently posted erratic tweets calling for violence against neocons, once calling former U.S. president Bush "that Big Mac seller." When questioned about his beliefs on neocons, he was once reported to have said "What is the cure for such disorders? Beatings." However, in years since he has disavowed his past behavior, though recently he was spotted tying himself to a missile for dubious purposes.

Hush remarks
Although he generally expresses moderate views, Malarkinator has gone on public record saying he advocates for the extermination of anyone who believes themselves to be Hush, calling such people mentally ill, and "unfit to live".

Suspected past NPD ties
Malarkinator has vehemently denied allegations that he received monetary compensation from members of the NPD in order to bribe the judge in the trial of the Rotsibaai Five, an extremely controversial case that still strikes a nerve with Doggers of Dutch descent today.

Nomination
On February 17th, 2021, due to his outstanding legal career in both public and private law, Malarkinator was nominated by Prime Minister Mel to serve as an Associate Justice of the Supreme Court of Doggerland, along with former prime minister Kevin Trevor, Arjun The Great, Baveland, and TheOneAndOnlyGod. He was the first Supreme Court Justice of Norwegian descent in Doggerland and also one of the youngest ever.

Personal life
Malarkinator has always listed his official place of residence as Solenstårn, though his duties as a member of the National Assembly and currently as Supreme Court Justice have resulted in his purchase of a second home in the Little Oslo district of Port Nandels.